D Magazine Publishes Insane List and Knocks University Park to Number 7

Our step cousin D Magazine has launched a nasty spit wad at the Park Cities with their July issue in which they ranked the burbs based on safety, education, housing values, and ambiance. I lovingly send this super wet loogie in response to the absurdity of University Park falling to number 7. Highland Park remained number 6 which is a tad on the insulting side too.

The following items were obviously excluded from the formula to hurt us.

  1. Ratio of turrets to homes built before 2009.
  2. Number of banks.
  3. Ratio of prostitutes to other area residents.

Here’s what totally screwed us:

  1. The white van, the rubber gloves and the freaking mass e-mails.
  2. The Leagues.
  3. Queue lane chaos.

38 thoughts on “D Magazine Publishes Insane List and Knocks University Park to Number 7

  • June 24, 2010 at 11:01 am
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    Don’t be so surprised. The quality of life is not that great here—traffic, noise, limited parking, lack of privacy, rudeness and much more. Yes, the education is great, and so is safety, but the quality of day-to-day life is lame. Sure, it’s better than living in Garland, but have you checked out Fairview, which also has all exemplary rated schools? I would be out of here in a heartbeat with an extra 2-3 million in the bank if I could talk my husband and kids into it. They don’t know what they don’t know.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 11:20 am
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    @Nicemom, my problem with your theory is, when you get up everyday and walk out the door, you are in Fairview. Blech.

    I’ll read this later and respond. My gut reaction to just reading Merritt’s post is – Good, we’re crowded enough, go ahead and tell everyone we su*%.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 12:02 pm
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    D Magazine is the 7th best publication in the area.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 12:07 pm
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    @Nicemom-If I worked in Fairview or am a stay at home mom, I’d totally agree with you. However, if I work in Dallas then the 10-15 minute commute of living here makes up for so many of the flaws. No way a dad who works in Dallas ever gets to have lunch with their kids in Fairview-and there is no way to put a price tag on that. I know moving here has been the best decision our family has made, but to each there own. 🙂

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  • June 24, 2010 at 12:33 pm
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    @kmom, “when you get up everyday and walk out the door, you are in Fairview. Blech.” I have no idea what Fairview is like, but unless you’re just really concerned with what others think of your home zip code, who cares? By just google mapping Fairview, it looks like they have nice open spaces as opposed to the aforementioned banks and turrets.

    I think HP/UPers real problem with other suburbs is that you can afford to live in HP/UP and need everyone to know that. So, what if we got some yard signs or bumper stickers that let everyone know that even though you’re living in a potentially better neighborhood, you can totally afford to live in a more expensive, worse rated neighborhood?

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  • June 24, 2010 at 12:46 pm
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    @Southern Gent – totally agree with the commute piece. I wanted to buy some acreage north of Dallas and build a nice quiet home with a big garden, but only if I could get my company to allow me to me work from home several days a week. Never happened…

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  • June 24, 2010 at 12:48 pm
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    How about bonus points for “proximity to things I actually want to patronize”? Based on 1-5 it seems “proximity to Talbot’s and restaurants with a drive through” garnered premium consideration.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 2:20 pm
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    I’m not the typical “Parkie”. I don’t have deep family roots in the Park Cities and I wasn’t brought to town by a great job with a big company. I’m just a guy from East Texas who wanted a change of scenery after graduating from college.

    At first, the lure of the bright lights lured me to the Uptown area. For two years I lived there and enjoyed the urban lifestyle, a lifestyle I had always dreamed about growing up in the Piney Woods. After I settled into a committed relationship and no longer was an “Uptown single”, I decided to move in with my wife (my fiancee at the time) and after spending a couple of years on the outskirts of the Park Cities, we finally decided on a great rental unit in UP.

    Sure, we could have gone East or North and owned, but those suburbs lacked history and character. Believe it or not, living in the Park Cities reminded me a lot of my native East Texas. I could go into Wild About Harry’s and listen to some of the town’s more seasoned citizens discuss Highland Park football, just as you could walk into Miles Drug Store in downtown Atlanta, Texas and find a group of men discussing Atlanta Rabbit football over coffee. I love reading Park Cities People because it reminds me so much of reading my hometown newspaper, the Citizens Journal (the PCP is higher quality of course, but its focus on the community is the same). At the same time, it offers all the creature comforts and cultural sophistication of living in a major metropolitan area.

    Our rental unit will soon be destroyed to give way to a Frisco-like development, void of history and character. At that time, my wife and I will have the decision to move north or east and buy or try and find another rental property in the Park Cities and stay a little bit longer. If I have learned anything over the past three years of living here, it’s that I’d rather rent and live here than own and live in some other suburb.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 4:54 pm
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    D Magazine is not infrequently in error, but entitled to its opinion.

    1. Location is always subjective, but UP has an excellent location for an urban environment, and enjoys the added advantage of NorthPark, Love Field, SMU, and other amenities within a few minute’s drive.

    2. University Park has a number of churches, the YMCA, and several schools – all of which have tax exemptions. Highland Park has two schools for tax exemptions, and not a single church. UP takes pride in furnishing HP with places to worship, learn, work out, and other stuff.

    3. UP has one of the finest public safety departments on the planet; much better than HP’s. It also has reciprocal agreements with other departments to be able to deliver police, fire, ambulance, or rescue services often with seconds, and generally within just a few minutes.

    4. UP has extraordinarily stable property values.

    5. The HPISD system almost needs no mention. but some people take it for granted. We gladly share it, and the taxes, with HP. Together, we have produced some of the finest leaders in the world in almost every field of endeavor.

    6. UP has a much larger and better municipal services system than HP. HP has a real library that’s not a stepchild and a really cool bridge.

    7. UP is a planned community that is expertly managed, and has planned decades ahead for everything from water to various disaster and crisis plans. UP is famous for its Coffees.

    8. UP has many more retail stores than HP, and may someday have adequate parking for them.

    9. UP has a rich and interesting history; HP not so much, although it’s rich and interesting.

    10. Many people think of the Park Cities as one place. Many people will not be surprised D Magazine doesn’t. Park Cities People does. Kinda like UP and HP.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 4:54 pm
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    It’s funny I don’t ever think of HP as a suburb. I just know that I love living in the center of a great place and feel very lucky. So many close by things to see and do. And at night it is a cheap cab fare to anywhere we want to go.

    P.S. I don’t understand why people put the stickers on their cars. I don’t want anyone outside the neighborhood to know I live here. Maybe they haven’t noticed…..but people from other towns hate us.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 5:11 pm
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    @Josh-stick with it. The Park Cities get even better when you have kids.

    @citygirl- I’m glad you love living in the Park Cities. There is a lot to be proud of here and you shouldn’t care what other people think. If you can’t be proud of where you live you shouldn’t live there. I’m just sayin’

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  • June 24, 2010 at 5:25 pm
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    @N.F.; You must have missed Wick Allison’s totally inane editorial in the June DMagazine. Mr. Allison is the publisher of DMag as well as Park Cities People. In the editorial he linked the Park Cities, Greenway Parks and Preston Hollow to the racist policies of Dallas’ past. He thinks that the Park Cities are hot bed of racists, especially its Mayors and its ministers. I’m sure that had something to do with the ratings.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 6:04 pm
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    citygirl – I call those people Stickersons. And they live in Stickertown. I’ve posted many a comments about that strange habit. Some of my best friends in the world are Stickersons and I. just. don’t. get it.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 6:19 pm
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    “HP” decals have been popular in the Park Cities almost since decals were invented. You also see not a few “SMU, TCU, TEXAS, UT, A&M, Tech” and other schools. (You hardly ever see North Texas or Rice; go figure.)

    Grade school stickers and the ever-popular “MIS” decals sprang up a few years ago. Most people outside of the Park Cities don’t care what they mean, and assume “MIS” has to do with prisons or computers.

    Most people outside the Park Cities don’t hate people in the Park Cities. If you think they do, there could be something else going on with you, or they could just be jealous.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 6:29 pm
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    Mr. Tucker, you’re suggesting the publisher of the magazine is self-loathing most of his readers, and not a few of his advertisers.

    Interesting model for a magazine. Even more interesting model for a business.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 9:03 pm
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    UP is not a suburb. UP is a marvelous small city, surrounded by a much larger city.

    Methinks that D magazine is once again indulging in hair pulling.

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  • June 24, 2010 at 9:48 pm
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    @citygirl and @Josh Ellis:
    we sold our home in the suburbs to move to the Park Cities. (I use the word sold loosely- we took money to the closing table) We pay double in rent what we paid on a mortage previously, but I totally echo your sentiments about loving living here, and renting here is better than owning elsewhere. Our decision was based almost solely on the school district and for our children, but I absolutely love the access we have to everything here. I can’t imagine living- or raising children- any place else. D Magazine can rank it 7th or 700th… Wouldn’t change how I feel about where I’m proud to call home. 🙂

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  • June 25, 2010 at 8:53 am
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    The comments regarding the Palladium incident with UP kids was more embarrasing than the drop to 7th in the survey.

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  • June 25, 2010 at 9:48 am
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    I forgot to mention the BEST thing about living in the Park Cites–my neighbors. In our little town, neighbors still look out for one another. You won’t find that too many other places.

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  • June 25, 2010 at 4:22 pm
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    I see what you guys are saying about being proud to live in HP. I really do. And I am. I was exaggerating of course. But I would bet $100 that many a sticker clad vehicle has had someone make their highway merge more difficult because of it.

    And I doubt anyone would be jealous of me. I am not that great.

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  • June 25, 2010 at 5:32 pm
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    I have a very common vehicle in a very common color. Those stickers help me find my car at the mall and help my kids find my car in the carpool lane.

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  • June 25, 2010 at 5:37 pm
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    I agree with you, Laurie. And it makes sitting at stoplights more interesting.

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  • June 25, 2010 at 7:17 pm
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    @citygirl-we can tell you love the HP were mostly joshing you (no pun intended Josh). I am always willing to let someone make my merge into traffic more difficult since I drive a Suburban. If they want to play chicken I can too.

    @laurie-I’m with you. My Suburban is White. I can’t tell you how many kids try to climb into it at carpool only to look dumbfounded at me like “what are you doing in my parents car?”. I solved that problem with a yellow Gadsden flag sticker with Palin 2012 on it.

    Kersten-I am firmly in Stickerstown since the media stopped reporting the truth 2 years ago. I am currently sporting the following non-HP related Stickers:

    Plug the D**n Hole (with a pic of Obama shoving a hot dog into his mouth)

    I’m with the Death Panel. I am on my what to your Grandmother’s House.

    America needs some R & R; Repeal and Replace

    Whose A*s to kick? More Like Whose A*s to Kiss.

    And then my Palin/Bachmann 2012 sticker.

    I think it needs to be said.

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  • June 28, 2010 at 8:04 am
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    To each his own on the sticker thing, but some folks have two school,, three sports, and one or two camp stickers on their cars. Yet they fear their kids will be kidnapped by a glove wearing, white-van driving sex offender and worry about their own identities getting stolen and their credit getting ruined. Seems like a contradiction.

    Maybe someday, before my two kids are out of HPHS, I might end up with a sticker on my car. But the truth is, sometimes I drive badly. I forget to put my turn signal on and sometimes I do dumb things. I’d rather not stick out, if you know what I’m saying.

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  • June 28, 2010 at 8:58 am
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    I drive with a “I’m Kertsten Rettig” sticker.

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  • June 28, 2010 at 9:50 am
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    Kersten, may as well throw in a couple signs in the yard with your kid’s name, school, sport and jersey #. Oh and a stork letting everyone know that a cute new infant lives there too.

    Before I get flamed I would like to say that I am exagerating for comic appeal : )

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  • June 28, 2010 at 11:26 am
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    @grump where can I get that Kersten Rettig sticker?

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  • June 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm
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    Hands down the thing that should get us rated higher is the 4th (now 5th) of July parade. I can’t wait!

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  • June 28, 2010 at 5:36 pm
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    I have to echo @Josh H. Ellis — I grew up in a somewhat small southern town and cried 22 years ago when my husband told me we were living in Dallas and not going home after graduate school! The Park Cities remind me of my hometown, my neighbors have become my family (we havent any family within 10 hours of us) and I can ride my bike to do my errands if I want to (bank, grocery store, Learning Express, etc). Whenever my parents come to visit — my dad says he feels like he is back living in the 50’s — neighbors outside visiting in the evenings, sidewalks, our little downtown areas, the fourth of July parade, etc. I really cant think of many places as wonderful as the Park Cities to raise children. And finally, @ Kersten, the only reason I have the bumper stickers is for my kids … they LOVE their schools and want their school stickers on my car. After a few years, I finally broke down and put them on! But, I do refuse to put a MIS sticker on my car … I hate the ketchup and mustard colors! I tell my middle schoolers that my HP high school sticker covers everything!

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  • June 28, 2010 at 9:51 pm
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    I personally think the HPISD is not as good as it was a few years ago. Because everyone wants to live in the area, the classrooms are packed and our kids don’t get the same quality education that they used to.

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  • June 28, 2010 at 10:12 pm
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    No one would be reading the D article or commenting here if UP and HP were 1 and 2 of the list. So here we all are – 29 comments and counting.

    Viral marketing! Well played, Tim Rogers.

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  • June 29, 2010 at 9:28 am
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    Thanks for saying that, Neal. That’s what I immediately told my husband. If UP has been so high on the list for the last decade, they’ve got to shake it up to sell more magazines or everyone would say it was the same old thing. Of course, we’re REALLY still number one =)

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  • June 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm
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    @ Carolyne … I agree regarding the schools … especially the middle school. I remember when my oldest was in kindergarten and there were only 16 kids in her class at Bradfield. Can you imagine that now?

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  • June 30, 2010 at 8:04 am
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    Well, folks, if you understand the concept of enclave – apparently not in the vernacular of D – then you understand the Park Cities for what they are. In Rome, there’s the Vatican, in DFW, there’s the Park Cities. Neither is a suburb. For different reasons, each is iconic. Having left the PC after 35 years of familiarity for Preston Hollow, I can tell you there’s plenty I miss and some I don’t. Living in the cloying embrace of the City of Dallas and the pretense of folks whose kids all trek long distances to private schools alerts one to what’s attributable for the death of neighborhoods. D has no score for that, understandably since a great deal of its revenue derives from advertising the big boxes for sale in the sterile wastelands of the artificial communities ringing Dallas and awaiting passé oblivion as their transient occupants graduate to other corporate postings. C’est la vie.

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  • July 5, 2010 at 10:12 pm
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    Plus, Parker has the “ace in the hole” of not just one, but two trailer parks!!!

    We can’t compete with that!

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  • July 6, 2010 at 4:51 pm
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    Good Lord, ej. No wonder others think we’re pompous.

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  • August 23, 2010 at 12:39 pm
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    I’ve lived in UP for six years and the one thing I’ve noticed about HP/UP is that the only people who think others care about HP/UP are the ones who live in HP/UP. My family lives in Highland Shores and I think it comical how everyone from the Park Cities seems to think that the other suburbs have “Parky-envie”. I hate to brake it to you but, they barely know you’re there. HP/UPers seem to think that everyone is so concerned and the simple fact is, they’re not. Get over yourself HP/UP, the rest of the metroplex doesn’t care and barely remembers your little parcel of land is there.

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  • January 28, 2011 at 1:44 am
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    I live in LA less than 30 blocks from the beach.

    I pity all of you.

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