Thrown Under the Police Cruiser

Um, thanks, Merritt.

From today’s live chat with Chief Adams of the UPPD.

12:17
Merritt Patterson: Charles Geilich can be kind of difficult and we get the sense that you’re not too fond of his blogging, is that true?
12:18
Gary Adams: Not true…..I am an old hand at this…going on now 34 years. I have tough skin. It is always challenging

Merritt’s Coming For You, Dallas Voice

Over the weekend, what with the blog down, we were unable to celebrate Merritt Patterson’s second-place finish at the Katie Awards for “Best Column.” She was recognized for her famed Volamom column. Glad to see the mainstream media elite is recognizing quality work.

And I expect John Wright of the Dallas Voice, who won top prize in the category for his column “Purity Sieges Lead Gay Man into Bi-Polar Hell,” has already been added to Merritt’s enemies list.

Jaywalking is Bad

Running out of gas is worse.

Merritt is a victim of the Park Cities gas station crisis and has run out of gas.  Fortunately, her son is there to make sure they don’t jaywalk. 

Re: Alibaster Shows Merritt Some Love

So, the great Alibaster K. Abthernabther kindly replied to my earlier post on the job requirements of being his “beard,” a function he praised Merritt for in a mysterious e-card. AKA writes:

Being my beard entails a great many things; paramount among them: a steady hand and a strong stomach.

I’ve already said too much.  Merritt doesn’t like it when I get “icky.”

Curious…very curious.

Alibaster Shows Merritt Some Love

I just received an e-mail from Merritt’s iPhone, she’s ecstatic (Merritt, not the iPhone) about receiving this e-card from Alibaster K. Abthernabther.

Just one question for AKA: (more…)

F-Bomb Dropping Scot Sends Me a Love Letter

Do you guys think this reader liked my column? Be honest.

Friday, September 12, 2008 6:14 PM

Subject: F*** You

Alright a. If you buy the most expensive sunglasses you can buy take very good care of them, you dont leave them in a zip lock bag. B. The  scots game is a tradition for many    high school students and fellow younger students so if we like to socialize and have a good time I sincerely apologize if It gets in the way . C. Highland park is known 
for its students that excel and progress gracefully through life. Point is if you lighten up and realize that at the scots game you are among the people that will one day lead this country have some respect.

Dear F-Bomb Dropper,

A) I know your parents, bet you didn’t know that.

B) Read carefully, the glasses were in the case inside my chic, non-zipping bag. Not a ziplock.

C) Are you trying to say you’re graceful? I beg to differ, I’m just sayin’.

D) If you’re planning on running our country one day, you’ve got to make it through an election first and if that happens, I’m so pulling out this e-mail and sending it straight to the major news networks, Oprah and maybe Jerry Springer.

E) Did you say have some respect? I lost that with the subject line.

F) Who needs to lighten up?

G) I’m rubber, you’re glue, bounced off me and stuck on you.

Love,

Merritt

We Still Have a Pair Left

Of tickets that is. We had a contest winner drop out, so we are now re-opening the contest with a new question: What is the age of our very own Merritt Patterson?

Email me the correct answer for the tickets. First correct answer wins.

UPDATE: We have found a winner, but keep studying your Overheard trivia because questions and prizes may reappear on this here blog in the near future.

Happy Birthday, Merritt

As your 30s draw to a close, I’m pleased to know you have a new iPhone to keep you company.

Team Spirit

Great column this week, Merritt.  Those of us with older kids who’ve already been introduced to the team concept know what a wonderful thing it is.  It makes the transition from our sweet little elementary schools to the big middle school so much easier.

I’ve had a Chief, a Superstar, two Think Tankers, a Hotshot and a Trailblazer and they’ve all been great teams with great teachers.

Re: Officer Elwonger Story Cuts Her Some Inaccurate Slack?

Merritt’s write right. Here’s our correction:  

The July 25 article “Officer’s Website Violates UP Policy” on Page 1A misstated the content of www.cuff-em.com. Officer Suzette Elwonger and the University Park Police Department were named on the Website.

The sentence now reads: 

Both Elwonger and the UP Police Department were named on the site, and photos of Elwonger in her uniform were prominently featured.

International Incident at Kuby’s, Part 2

Merritt writes from her morning haunt:

I’m having trouble concentrating on what my coffee date is saying because there are 2 Tuesday Kuby’s virgins sitting at the German table again. These two girls are discussing child birth and healthy things to feed toddlers. They have no idea the Germans are flipping out all around them.
Omg, the head German lady just asked them to move. Developing.

Someone Bears False Witness to Merritt

From our page 2 columnist:

So someone (a Parkie) picking up an across the street neighbor kid backed out of their driveway after I backed out of mine. . My car was already in the lane and I was starting to move forward. He backs into the side of my car and bashes the crap out of the passenger side front and back doors. I got out and said I’d need his ins info and he said, “what? we were both backing out and just ran into each other.”

No, you don’t smash the side of someone’s car with the back of your car and say we’re both  at fault.

So I got his ins agent info, wrong number. There was an HPISD sticker on his car. I’ll find him.

Game on, brother.

Park Cities Without Power?

Merritt manages to send in a blog post, despite the difficulties:

The power is out at my house and for blocks around. My nanny reports that Snider Plaza is without power too. If I get home and there’s poor ice formation for evening beverages and Kuby’s is closed …t his could be bad. But remember Michael is fine. He’s at the waterfront Ritz in Doha.

UPDATE: Gary Krabill, who owns Flavors From Afar in Snider Plaza, said the power went out just before noon. It came back on at 12:30 p.m. He thinks it was just his block - the 6700 block.

UPDATE: Hey, Gary, seeing as you have power there at Flavors From Afar, Merritt wants to know if she can sleep in your store. Text her.

Overheard Where?

See if you can guess where these Overheardian bloggers (Kersten, Charles, and Merritt) ate a power dinner last Friday night? Also present (but not pictured, so as to maintain their innocence) were Kersten’s and Charles’ spouses. Merritt’s spouse said he couldn’t make it, but this is being investigated.

Important blog business was, of course, discussed.

Collin County, Merritt — Merritt, Collin County

Our page 2 columnist hurls another insult at our neighbors to the north:

I’m at MiCocina in HPV and there’s a little sign on the table that says another location opened May 23- in Allen. Doesn’t that seem so wrong? Ijs.

I realize, of course, that Merritt once called Collin County home. But she’s done her best to wash that period from her mind.

Send Me Your Cutest Pet Pix

So here’s what the top 5 blog posts in May tell us about Overheardians, other than Austin Kilgore’s pit bull story didn’t quite do the trick: As indicated by #2 and #3 on the list, Overheardians love gossip and a good train wreck. #4 tells us that we love to see Merritt get beat up in the comments area. And #5 just confuses me…it either means Amanda Tackett is a rock star or it backs up my point about #4, Merritt getting a good beating equals entertainment.

I’m changing my blog rep and just plain starting over by posting stuff about the library and cute little Parkie pets. Send me your pet photos.

Today in the Park Cities

It’s a busy day, the last day of school before the summer:

1. Armstrong Elementary is having their field day at 9 a.m. I don’t remember getting a field day on the last day of school in elementary. Our special treat was getting to stay inside and watch movies. Remember when movies were only watched on VHS? Do today’s elementary school kids know of a time before DVDs?
2. UP Elementary fourth-graders are graduating at 12:30 p.m. Whatever that means.
3. Merritt says she’ll be too busy to blog because she’ll be at the fourth-grade graduation. Whatever that means.
4. The real graduation is taking place at Moody Coliseum, as the Highland Park High School seniors walk across the stage before retiring to Dallas Country Club for an all-night party. Let us hope no golf carts end up in the creek.

Sex and the Paper?

Not sure about you Overheardians, but I plan on heading to NorthPark tomorrow to watch Sex and the City. My tickets are already purchased, and I’ve plotted my flavor of OrangeCup to eat afterward.

You know how everyone always does the quiz about which Sex and the City character are you? Well. That got me thinking. Which one is Merritt? I’m assuming Carrie, they both write columns and both wear black. I’d have to be Charlotte. I think Austin is a little bit like Miranda. So. I guess that leaves Jason. And.  Samantha? Not so sure I see the correlation. But who’s Kersten and Charles?

Guess the Cost of Gas, Win Free Food

Merritt just sent in this dispatch from Kuby’s. She seems to delude herself that Mrs. Clinton still has a shot:

A relative of a man nearby, apparently someone very high in the oil industry, has told him that gas will be 5.50 per gallon by August. But this is good news because there will be good car deals everywhere. You’ll be able to by a gas guzzler on the cheap.

Wtf?? Why would you want the automobile at that point? Anyway let’s track this. I say no freaking way will gas be 5.50 per gallon. And in January when Hillary takes office she’ll make sure all this is all handled.

OK. I’m announcing the first Overheard contest with a prize. Tell me what the average price of a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline in Texas will be, according to AAA , on August 1. The winner receives a $50 gift certificate to Newport’s seafood and steak restaurant. Entries must be received by 5 p.m. Saturday, May 31. Post your guess in the comments below. Remember to give your correct e-mail address, or I’ll have no way of contacting you to collect your prize in August.

Hillary v. Hillary

Hey, Merritt, you’re a Hillary fan, so I have a question for you:  which Hillary do you support, the one who pledged not to campaign in either Michigan or Florida and supported the Democratic National Committee in “punishing” those states for moving up their primaries, or the Hillary who campaigned in both places anyway and now wants to change the rules and count the delegates?

(more…)

Stephanie Hutson’s Leaving Us This Week

Krista beat me to this, but I’ll add my one cent’s worth.

The role of an assistant managing editor is a tricky one, and requires someone who can wear many hats. Stephanie helped everyone on our editorial staff make this a better set of newspapers each week, while also being one of our champion bloggers. She is going to be missed by our staff. It’s difficult to show an adequate amount of appreciation for someone’s job well done, and I fear we’ll fall short in recognizing Stephanie today and tomorrow. But if a public ‘thank you’ can suffice for now, you have it here in writing from me on behalf of the rest of the staff.

Thank you for all you’ve done Stephanie, especially for all the little things you did that we don’t know that you did to make these papers get out each week.

Before You Get Too Excited About the New Chick-fil-A

Merritt writes in:

I’m here and they have the wrong shape of ice.