Letter From a Gopher, Life is Good

Tuesday we got a letter from the Gopher. He was pumped because his cabin used to be Division 2 (not sure what that means) and even though it’s not anymore, they have Division 2 bathroom access (must be a good thing). He needed a few items sent via Fed Ex. And, camp is really fun.

Looks like it:

The Top of Every Parkie Man’s Xmas Wish List

Let’s face it. Every man wants to be a superhero. In the Park Cities, I’m betting a lot of men wish they were Batman — he’s mega-rich, has cool gadgets, and has a rockin’ car.

E. Paul Zehr is a professor of kinesiology and neuroscience at the University of Victoria in British Columbia. His new book, Becoming Batman: The Possibility of A Superhero could help bring those dreams one step closer.

Set to debut in October, the book addresses the realistic and not-so-realistic aspects of becoming a real-life caped crusader.

Re: Officer Elwonger Speaks About Cush Cops

So, a little bit ago I returned a call to Officer Suzette Elwonger. Here’s how the conversation went down:

Merritt: Hello, this is Merritt Patterson returning your call.

Elwonger: Well, I really don’t have anything to say. You’ve done quite enough.

Merritt: Oh, since you called and left a message asking for me to call you, I thought you had something to say.

Elwonger: I wish you would have taken the time to get the facts but you sound interesting and I’d like to add you to my circle of media friends. And I want you to know that I will always be happy to help you if you need DARE. I will treat you like everyone else.

Merritt: Thanks.

Elwonger: Maybe we can meet for coffee and talk about the facts sometime. Do you have any questions so that we can clear this up?

Merritt: Sure, you mentioned to Jason earlier today that you didn’t know why the site was still up. But I noticed that you own the domain names cuff-em.com and cushcops.com and they were both renewed on December 26, 2007. (more…)

SMU Punter Makes Preseason Team

SMU senior punter Thomas Morstead was selected as a first-team pick on the Conference-USA coaches preseason team.

Morstead led the conference and was ninth in the nation last season with a 44.6-yard average. The Mustangs ranked second nationally in net punting last season.

SMU opens the regular season Friday, Aug. 29, at Rice. It will be the first game with June Jones as head coach.

Cassie Clark: Knife-wielder?

Ace Park Cities reporter Cassie Clark is working on a story about the controversy surrounding Officer’s Elwonger former television aspirations, something Elwonger’s none to happy about. (more…)

Tollroad Express Lanes To Get Express-ier

The North Texas Tollway Authority board of directors voted to increase the speed limits of toll booth express lanes to bring them equal to the existing speed limits in the lanes.

You have to have a Toll Tag, of course, to use these lanes, but this is just the natural progression of the NTTA’s plan to eliminate toll plazas entirely, forcing everyone to have a Toll Tag.

What I’d like to know is when they’re going to increase the 55 mph speed limit on the Dallas North Tollway. Unless it’s rush hour, nobody’s driving that speed, and the NTTA has been slow to perform state-mandated speed studies and act accordingly.

Dallas Country Club’s New Digs

I’ve just been shown a picture of the new $51 million clubhouse to be built at Dallas Country Club. Wow. Very pretty to look at.  Construction is slated to begin in early 2009 and last 18-22 months. So just about the time Mockingbird Lane opens up again, you can get used to seeing what I assume will be massive trucks entering and exiting the country club along Mockingbird, or maybe Beverly Drive.

The golf course will also be reconfigured, apparently.

More details to come.

One-Legged King Pigeon Pose

I just received a nice package from Equinox Fitness Club that includes a yoga mat, yoga T-shirt, yoga poses on cards, and a pamphlet about the new fitness center.

Think they are offering yoga classes?

To promote Equinox’s move into a Highland Park location and a Preston Hollow location, complimentary yoga classes are taking place at the W Dallas-Victory on Saturday mornings in August and September, promising a relaxing start to the day with views from the 16th floor.

Although it’s hard to wake up for a 7 a.m. class on the weekend, I may have to check it out. I’m really interested in trying the “lord of the dance pose” and “warrior II.” I really wanted to try what the chic in the photo is doing, but there wasn’t a yoga card for that one.

Classes are 7 a.m. - 8 a.m; Aug. 2, 9, 16, 23 and Sept. 6, 13, 20, 27 RSVP.01521@whotels.com

Officer Elwonger Speaks About Cush Cops

I just got off the phone with Suzette Elwonger, the University Park police officer who was featured in our blog post about a reality TV show pitch yesterday. She asked me to set the record straight on a few matters:

She says the reality TV show was an idea that she and a business partner had decided to pitch a few years ago. The website that we linked to was meant to be the first part of a presentation to prospective producers. They were also working on a treatment, but decided to abandon the plan, she says, because she had too much else going on in her life at the time, including her duties as DARE officer at Highland Park Middle School. She says she would have gotten permission from the UP police chief before formally pitching the program. She doesn’t know why the website is still up and running.

Police Chief Gary Adams was, apparently, not aware of the website until Merritt pointed it out yesterday. Elwonger told me that her job has been placed in jeopardy by this incident, and that she’s been called in to speak with the chief and her police captain. “It was just a crazy dream idea that we were going to try,” she said.

Stay tuned.